Living with a chronic condition can affect much more than your physical health. Fatigue, pain, changes in mobility, disrupted sleep and other symptoms can make everyday activities more difficult. You may also find it harder to work, socialise, maintain relationships or take part in activities you once enjoyed.
These changes can affect your mental wellbeing and can contribute to feelings of stress, anxiety, low mood or frustration. For some people, there can also be a sense of losing part of the life they had planned for themselves. When your condition changes what you can do, it can be difficult to know how to maintain a sense of identity and purpose.
This is where understanding your values can help.
What are values?
Values are the things that are important to you and help guide how you want to live your life.
They might include:
- Connection
- Independence
- Creativity
- Family
- Kindness
- Adventure
- Learning
- Health
- Friendship
- Courage
Values are different from goals. A goal is something you can achieve, while a value is more like a direction you want your life to move in.
For example, you might have a goal of travelling overseas because you value adventure. If your health means you can no longer travel in the same way, that doesn’t necessarily mean you have lost those values. You may just need to find a different way to express them.
When your values and your illness don’t match
One of the challenges of living with a chronic condition can be the gap between what you value and what your body allows you to do.
- You might value independence but need help with everyday tasks.
- You might value being productive but be unable to work in the way you used to.
- You might value spontaneity but need to plan around fatigue, pain or unpredictable symptoms.
- You might value creativity but find that physical limitations make some of your favourite creative activities difficult.
- You might value connection but not have the energy to attend social events as often as you would like.
These conflicts can be difficult. It is understandable to feel frustrated or even as though your condition has taken something important away from you.
It is also okay to grieve the things you can no longer do in the way you once did.
Finding new ways to live by your values
Living with a chronic condition doesn’t mean you have to give up on the things that matter to you. Instead, it can be helpful to think about whether there are different ways you can express your values within your current circumstances.
For example:
- If you value independence, this might mean making your own decisions about things you care about.
- If you value creativity, you might explore a different creative activity, use adaptive equipment or find ways to create that require less physical energy.
- If you value connection, you might choose a phone call or coffee with a close friend instead of attending a large social event.
- If you value adventure, this might mean exploring somewhere new locally, rather than travelling overseas.
The goal isn’t to pretend these experiences are exactly the same as they were before. They may not be. Instead, it is about finding ways to continue moving towards what matters to you.
Your values can change
Living with a chronic condition can also change what matters to you. Over time, you might find that maintaining your health, having supportive relationships or protecting your energy has become more important than things you used to value more.
This doesn’t mean you have failed or given up. Our values can change throughout our lives, particularly when our circumstances change. A chronic condition may give you an opportunity to think about what is genuinely important to you and what you want to prioritise.
Be mindful of all-or-nothing thinking
When living with a chronic condition, it can be easy to fall into all-or-nothing thinking.
You might think:
- “If I can’t work full-time, I’m not productive.”
- “If I can’t exercise like I used to, I’m not active.”
- “If I can’t go out with my friends, I’m not social.”
- “If I need help, I’m not independent.”
These thoughts can make your world feel smaller than it needs to be. Instead, try looking at the smaller ways you are already living according to your values.
- Perhaps you rested because you value looking after your health.
- Perhaps you asked for help because you value honesty and self-care.
- Perhaps you messaged a friend because you value connection.
Living according to your values doesn’t have to involve big achievements.
What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy?
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is one approach that can help people manage difficult thoughts and feelings while continuing to live in line with their values. ACT involves accepting the things that are outside of your control, while focusing your energy on the things you can influence.
For someone living with a chronic condition, this might mean acknowledging that symptoms and limitations are part of your current reality, without allowing them to completely determine how you live your life.
Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up. Instead, it means learning how to build a meaningful life within the circumstances you are living with.
Finding your values
If you’re not sure what your values are, it can help to start by thinking about the qualities that matter most to you.
Ask yourself:
- What kind of person do I want to be?
- What do I want my relationships to look like?
- What makes my life feel meaningful?
- What would I like to make more time for?
Brené Brown’s List of Values is another useful starting point for identifying the values that are most important to you.
Once you’ve identified a few values, consider one small action you could take this week that reflects one of them.
You are more than your condition
Living with a chronic condition can change your plans, routines, abilities and priorities. There may be things you genuinely cannot do anymore, and it is okay to acknowledge and grieve those losses.
At the same time, your condition does not define everything about you. Your interests, relationships, personality, strengths and values are still part of who you are.
You may not always be able to live by your values in the same way you did before. But that doesn’t mean those values have disappeared. Sometimes living well with a chronic condition means finding a new way to move towards the things that matter.
Want to learn more?
Lifeline Australia has a useful introduction to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
If you’re experiencing ongoing low mood, depression, anxiety or difficulties coping with your condition, consider speaking with your GP or a mental health professional about the support available to you.
Written by Emily Guenther, August 2026
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