Navigating friendships with a chronic condition can be tricky when striking the balance between looking after yourself and not missing out. This article will explore how to balance our friendships in a way that doesn’t neglect your arthritis needs.
Importance of friendships
Friendships are a fundamental part of our identity, emotional wellbeing, and overall quality of life. However, chronic conditions like arthritis can make it more difficult to form and sustain these important connections. Research consistently highlights the vital role friendships play in supporting mental health, reducing feelings of loneliness, and even alleviating the perception of pain. Investing in meaningful relationships is not only emotionally enriching but also an important part of managing long-term health.
When friendships change
Living with a chronic illness can sometimes change the dynamics of your friendships. Some friends may not fully understand what you’re going through or how your condition affects your energy and ability to participate in everyday activities that come easily to others. This can lead to misunderstandings on things like cancelling plans last minute or needing to rest.
(For help explaining fatigue and arthritis to friends have a look at The Spoon Theory.)
If you’ve noticed some distance growing between you and certain people, it’s understandable to feel a bit disconnected. However, over time, you start to see which friendships are built to last, and that understanding can lead to deeper, more supportive connections.
Below are some ways to build lasting friendships throughout your arthritis journey and how to still enjoy the activities you love in a sustainable way.
Finding the balance
As young adults, we’re often told these are our “prime years,” but living with arthritis can make that feel far from true, especially when you’re missing out on things you’d love to be part of. Research from the University of Sydney (Moensted, 2023) highlights how people with chronic conditions often put in extra emotional and physical effort to maintain friendships, sometimes even hiding their symptoms to feel included.
But managing arthritis doesn’t mean stepping away from social life – it means reshaping it. By setting your own pace, being open about your needs, and planning activities that suit your energy levels, you can stay connected without compromising your health.
Lower-energy activities
When high-energy activities like run clubs or festivals aren’t the right fit for you at the moment, it’s still important to nurture your friendships and stay socially connected in ways that feel more manageable. Slower-paced activities can actually create space for deeper, more meaningful conversations and connections, which are often harder to come by in large group settings or party environments.
Investing time in these kinds of activities and the people who are happy to do them with you, can lead to stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Coffee catch ups
- Going for a dog walk together
- Visiting local markets
- Calling a friend on your way home from work
- Movie nights
- Games night (online or board games)
- “Crafternoons” like pottery, painting, or beading
- Exploring a new part of your city or town
These moments don’t have to be big or elaborate to be meaningful. Sometimes, it’s the quiet, simple experiences that bring us closer together.
Safe proofing higher-energy activities
If you’re feeling up for a more active social event—AMAZING! Here are a few practical tips to help you conserve energy and support your arthritis management while still having a great time:
- Choose comfortable clothing: Wear outfits that feel good and don’t restrict your movement, so you can focus on enjoying yourself rather than adjusting your clothes.
- Invest in versatile, supportive shoes: Look for footwear that offers good support but still works for a variety of occasions.
- Pack a small essentials kit: Include items like pain relief, heat cream, compression gloves or bands, and any extra medications you might need. (Bonus tip: if you’re driving, keep a spare pair of shoes or a change of clothes in your car.)
- Plan your route home: Think ahead about how far you’ll need to walk to your car, public transport, or rideshare, and factor that into your energy planning.
- Give a friend a heads-up: Let someone know in advance that you might need to take breaks or sit down during the event.
- Schedule downtime afterward: Try to keep the next day low-key so you can rest and recharge without pressure.
Making friendships with people who have arthritis too
If you’re a young adult living with arthritis and want to meet others who truly get it, come along to our Young Adults Chill and Chat program!
It’s a relaxed, no-pressure way to connect with a small but growing community of people who share similar experiences. There’s no commitment, and it’s completely free to join.
At our next Chill and Chat, one of our young adult members will be sharing their personal journey—covering everything from navigating social life and work to advocating for themselves while managing arthritis. Register here.
And if you enjoy moving your body in any way that works for you, check out our Strava Club. It’s a great way to connect with others in your area, share your progress (big or small), and stay motivated together.
