How to support someone with arthritis

Understanding the Condition

The first step in supporting someone with arthritis is understanding the condition. The more you understand about arthritis, the more you will be able to provide support and assistance. Learn about the type of arthritis the person you are caring for has and how it is managed.

Inflammatory arthritis can affect people in many ways with common symptoms including:

Joint pain

Stiffness

Joint swelling

Reduced movement and mobility.

However, there are many other common symptoms that may be lesser known or harder to notice:

Fatigue – extreme tiredness despite sleep or rest

Feeling unwell or malaise – a general feeling of discomfort or that something is wrong

Dry or sensitive eyes

Sleeping problems – often due to pain and discomfort at night

Cognitive and emotional changes – due to the mental toll of the condition, chronic pain, lack of sleep and fatigue

Lowered immune system – caused by the condition itself and by some medications used to treat the condition which can lead to increased risk of infection and illness.

Targeting Misconceptions

A lot of people hear the word arthritis and immediately think of osteoarthritis which is often associated with ageing. Because of that, there’s an assumption that arthritis only affects older people, and that joint pain in young people must be something else or “not that serious.”

Inflammatory arthritis is very different. Conditions like rheumatoid arthritis, juvenile idiopathic arthritis, psoriatic arthritis and ankylosing spondylitis are autoimmune diseases where the immune system mistakenly attacks the joints causing ongoing inflammation.

It is a whole-body condition, not just a joint problem, and without the right treatment it can affect work, study, mental health and long-term joint health and other joints and organs in the body.

Understanding that difference is key to getting early diagnosis, proper treatment, and a lot more empathy for what young people with arthritis are actually dealing with.

Additionally, it is important to note that while osteoarthritis is often associated with ageing, this is not always the case. Younger people can also be diagnosed with this form of arthritis, often associated with past injury or with other health conditions.

What Not to Say

1. You are too young to have arthritis

Inflammatory arthritis can occur at any age. Many people are diagnosed in their 20s and 30s and it can even start in preschool-aged children. Hearing “you are too young” can often feel dismissive to the person with arthritis.

2. My grandmother has arthritis

Even if you have good intentions behind this and want to relate to the person, it is not very helpful and can show that you do not understand the difference between osteoarthritis and inflammatory arthritis.

3. You need to change your diet

Unfortunately, there is no diet that can cure arthritis. It is not as simple cutting out or adding a certain food. For most people living with arthritis, eating a healthy, balanced diet is just one component of their much wider treatment plan.

4. You should try turmeric

There is a high likelihood that the person has also already heard this before. As explained above, there is much more to arthritis treatment than one food addition.

5. Are you sure you should be on that medication?

Arthritis affects each individual differently, and so does their treatment plan. Providing medical advice without proper qualifications can not only be harmful but may also negatively impact a person’s health. It is important that the person takes their medication as prescribed by their doctor and seek out a different qualified opinion if they feel unsure about the treatment.

6. Aren’t you better yet?

Although a person’s condition severity may ebb and flow throughout the day or between flare periods, there is no cure for arthritis. The aim is to get the condition under control and into remission (where there are few or no symptoms). However, this is a state where the disease activity is dormant, not gone forever.

7. Providing general unsolicited advice

If the person you are speaking to is seeking advice or doesn’t know what to do and you are in a position to give quality advice, then great! However often talking about arthritis can lead to people giving advice that is unwanted or not evidence based. Try asking if they would like advice first or if they just want to talk openly instead.

How to Help

1. Listen and Support

Arthritis can be deeply upsetting at any time during the journey. The person you know may feel anxious, sad, frustrated, or angry and sometimes just need to vent. Offer a listening ear without trying to fix things. Reflect back what they share so they know they’re heard and cared for and hold back on advice unless they ask for it.

2. Respect boundaries and limitations

There will be times when the person needs to set boundaries or say no. That can be hard to admit, especially if they worry about disappointing others. If they tell you they can’t do something, listen and take it seriously. For example, if they repeatedly say they can’t manage a task or activity, honour that by adapting the plan rather than pushing through.

3. Find out what they need and offer to help

Life doesn’t pause just because their body is struggling. When things feel overwhelming, small acts of help can make a big difference. Offer to pick up a prescription or groceries, help with carpool, do a load of washing, vacuum or drop off a meal. The simplest approach is often the best – ask what they need most and how you can help.

4. Avoid being overbearing

Seeing someone you know struggle can trigger an instinct to step in, but independence still matters. If they’re having trouble with something, ask before helping. Finding ways to manage daily tasks on their own can be empowering, and if activities become consistently difficult, an occupational therapist can help with assistive tools and new strategies.

5. Keep including them

Don’t assume they’re no longer interested in the things you used to enjoy together. There will be good days and tough days. Be understanding if plans need to change at the last minute as pain can flare unpredictably. Flexibility goes a long way. You can also suggest arthritis-friendly options, like a movie night at home or meeting for a coffee somewhere accessible, so staying connected still feels easy and enjoyable.

A Note for the Support Person

Watching someone you care about struggle can be incredibly hard. It’s natural to want to fix things for them, but that isn’t always possible. However just because it can’t be fixed doesn’t mean that you can’t help. Often, supporting someone through arthritis can bring people closer. Many friends and family find their relationships grow stronger, built on empathy, trust and shared understanding.

As a support person or carer, it is important to look after your own physical and mental health and well-being too. Being healthy and happy is very important to your quality of life, and it will also make you better placed to care for someone.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed in your role as a support person, please reach out to the number below for support when you need it.