Being open with the people closest to you about your arthritis can feel overwhelming, especially when you are still wrapping your head around things yourself. But sharing what you are going through can strengthen your relationships, help you feel supported, and give others the chance to understand how they can best be there for you.
Timing Matters
Try to have these conversations when you’re in the right headspace, rather than in the middle of a flare-up or a difficult day. This way, you can communicate more clearly and feel more in control of what you want to share.
How Much Should You Share?
How much you choose to tell someone will depend on your relationship with them and how involved they are likely to be in your daily life. For example, a partner or family member who is part of our daily routine will likely need more details than a casual friend. Also, you don’t have to share everything at once!
- “I’ll open up more over time — right now I just want to give you a sense of what this means for me.”
- “There’s a lot to share, but for now I’ll start with what I feel more comfortable sharing”
Start with Someone You Trust
These conversations are often harder at the beginning, but they do become easier with time and practice. Starting with someone you trust gives you confidence before approaching others who you think may have a more challenging reaction.
- “I want to tell you about something new in my life, and I’d really value your support.”
- “There’s something important going on with my health that I feel ready to talk about with you.”
It’s Okay Not to Have All the Answers
You don’t need to explain everything about arthritis or your treatment plan right away. If you feel overwhelmed, it’s completely fine to pause the conversation and come back to it later:
- “I want to share more with you, but I need a break for now. Let’s chat about it again when I am feeling better”
- “This is all pretty new to me too, so I’m still figuring it out. Can we talk more about it another time?”
Tell People What You Need
Tell your friends or partner how they can support you. Whether that’s just listening, helping with practical tasks, or simply not bringing up arthritis all the time! At the same time, try to be open to their questions. Remember, curiosity often comes from a place of care.
- “Could you help me plan some fun activities when I feel better?”
- “Can we do something fun without talking about my health for a bit?”
Involving Others in Your Care
If your partner, or family member is involved in your daily routine, consider inviting them to a doctor’s appointment for example. This can help them hear directly from a professional and ease the pressure on you to explain everything after you have been to an appointment on your own.
- “Would you like to come with me to my appointment? It might be easier for you to hear things directly from the doctor.”
- “It would really help if you could join me on my next appointment and take some notes for me, it can be a lot for me to ask and remember”
Be open to different reactions
Everyone processes news differently. While you can’t control how others react, you can control your own response. Keep in mind that you’ve had more time to absorb your diagnosis than they have, so they may need space for all the information to sink in.
- “It’s okay if you need some time to think about it. We can catch up another time”
- “Thanks for listening. I know this is new for you too, so I appreciate you being patient and understanding.”
- “I know you care and want to know more, but I need a little space before I get back to you with some answers.”
Share Resources
If someone wants to learn more, you can direct them to trusted articles, videos, or services about arthritis. This can take some of the weight off you and help them gain a clearer understanding. Who knows, they might find something that you didn’t know about.
The Arthritis Movement can help you with resources any time.
Why Do These Conversations Matter?
At the heart of these discussions is the opportunity to involve the people you care about, to educate them about your condition, and to build a support system that works for you.
Support and Resources
You can use the articles below to support you when having conversations about arthritis, or you can share with people so they can read in their own time.
- Different Types of Arthritis
- Information about Arthritis in Young Adults
- Arthritis Assist Peer Mentoring: For one-on-one support with someone in your shoes
